Some declarations are so painful because of the time
invested and as I can only assume like an abusive marriage you come to question
can you make it on your own. However,
much like an abused spouse makes the decision to move on I too have made the
decision to move on and leave my abusive relationship with Hip Hop.
Therefore, today at approximately 6:15ish EST (I HAVE TO RIDE WITH MY MUSIC LOUD AND AS
OFFENSIVE AS MY SPIRIT WILL ALLOW FOR JORDAN DAVIS) I will be divorcing my consciousness from a
part of me that has defined who and what I was/AM for a very long time. For me the mental and intellectual abuse can
no longer coexist with what I have evolved to be.
The final straw for me came as the love of my life
normalized what I have determined to be a counterproductive existence for me. It use to be that college or an informal
street corner education was the mitigating factor between living and dying, but
after a recent encounter with a fictional character name 2Chainzz I realized
that not even college could save the love affair I had between me and Hip Hop. It occurred to me that chasing fictions paper
and having a comic relief existence intoxicates even the most educated of us thereby,
relegating the Talented 10th to a Talented 2%.
See when you love something so deep and it becomes so much a
part of you, you become very cautious of criticizing it. You become like a parent who knows their kid
is bad as H-L-, but will go HAM when anyone points that out because they are
vested in ignoring the obvious. Much is
and was the case with me. I kept my
criticism to myself in an effort not to sound like an intellectual elitist or
an educated snob who had evolved and was simply flexing off my new cerebral address. But a prepackaged existence that dumbs down
everything from your look to your conversation is more of a liability than a
benefit where I AM going. In some cases
it can be the difference between life and death and to be perfectly honest it
is the latter that forced me to make this difficult decision.
I can no longer afford to die a thousand intellectual deaths
at the hands of you and your friends.
Sure Jay and T.I. Common, Lupe and Black Thought have tried to expand
your horizons to a certain degree, but even with money you refuse to expand. Thus it makes me even wonder do you really
want what you say you want because no matter what you say out your mouth your
actions consistently show me something different.
Just like any difficult breakup I will remember the good
times we had like when I morphed into LL even more than LL or the Fresh Fest
when you we were so young and in our BB Boy picture I couldn’t figure out what
to do with me hands so I put them in my pockets you laughed at me, but hey we
were young. Or the time when I became
your DJ and the only gigs I could get was D Jaying for the mentally challenged
and you laughed because they never wanted to hear you and only screamed that I
play Beat
It or Billie Jean. How about
the time you introduced me to EPMD and I was so caught up that I called P-Head
and played them for him twice on a hot called card. I can remember walking into a room to find
the biggest, darkest brother I have ever met (BIGGIE) and getting damn near
choked up because I knew that only someone who loved you as much as I did could
have the skill to put words together like he did. And like so many today his love for you cost
him to pay the ultimate price.
I love you and I always will but like all things we have met
our expiration date. I am not sure where
I go from here I guess I will just date because there is something about a
space filled with vibes that makes my inner most happy. I wish you well or better yet a speedy
recovery. I will be here for you as our
love was real and deep, but I can no longer share a spiritual existence with
you as you have become simply bad for my mental health.
Love you…
I AM
Dr. Irvin PeDro Cohen
