Friday, November 30, 2012

I AM Divorcing Hip Hop




Some declarations are so painful because of the time invested and as I can only assume like an abusive marriage you come to question can you make it on your own.  However, much like an abused spouse makes the decision to move on I too have made the decision to move on and leave my abusive relationship with Hip Hop.  

Therefore, today at approximately 6:15ish EST (I HAVE TO RIDE WITH MY MUSIC LOUD AND AS OFFENSIVE AS MY SPIRIT WILL ALLOW FOR JORDAN DAVIS)  I will be divorcing my consciousness from a part of me that has defined who and what I was/AM for a very long time.  For me the mental and intellectual abuse can no longer coexist with what I have evolved to be. 

The final straw for me came as the love of my life normalized what I have determined to be a counterproductive existence for me.  It use to be that college or an informal street corner education was the mitigating factor between living and dying, but after a recent encounter with a fictional character name 2Chainzz I realized that not even college could save the love affair I had between me and Hip Hop.  It occurred to me that chasing fictions paper and having a comic relief existence intoxicates even the most educated of us thereby, relegating the Talented 10th to a Talented 2%.  

See when you love something so deep and it becomes so much a part of you, you become very cautious of criticizing it.  You become like a parent who knows their kid is bad as H-L-, but will go HAM when anyone points that out because they are vested in ignoring the obvious.  Much is and was the case with me.  I kept my criticism to myself in an effort not to sound like an intellectual elitist or an educated snob who had evolved and was simply flexing off my new cerebral address.  But a prepackaged existence that dumbs down everything from your look to your conversation is more of a liability than a benefit where I AM going.  In some cases it can be the difference between life and death and to be perfectly honest it is the latter that forced me to make this difficult decision.

I can no longer afford to die a thousand intellectual deaths at the hands of you and your friends.  Sure Jay and T.I. Common, Lupe and Black Thought have tried to expand your horizons to a certain degree, but even with money you refuse to expand.  Thus it makes me even wonder do you really want what you say you want because no matter what you say out your mouth your actions consistently show me something different.

Just like any difficult breakup I will remember the good times we had like when I morphed into LL even more than LL or the Fresh Fest when you we were so young and in our BB Boy picture I couldn’t figure out what to do with me hands so I put them in my pockets you laughed at me, but hey we were young.  Or the time when I became your DJ and the only gigs I could get was D Jaying for the mentally challenged and you laughed because they never wanted to hear you and only screamed that I play Beat It or Billie Jean.  How about the time you introduced me to EPMD and I was so caught up that I called P-Head and played them for him twice on a hot called card.  I can remember walking into a room to find the biggest, darkest brother I have ever met (BIGGIE) and getting damn near choked up because I knew that only someone who loved you as much as I did could have the skill to put words together like he did.  And like so many today his love for you cost him to pay the ultimate price.  

I love you and I always will but like all things we have met our expiration date.  I am not sure where I go from here I guess I will just date because there is something about a space filled with vibes that makes my inner most happy.  I wish you well or better yet a speedy recovery.  I will be here for you as our love was real and deep, but I can no longer share a spiritual existence with you as you have become simply bad for my mental health.

Love you…

I AM 

Dr. Irvin PeDro Cohen